This love comes but once in a lifetime…
I believe that with all of my heart. Why do I believe that? Because I am certain that in that quote lies the only explanation on WHY I do what I do. Why I am drawn to this being with all of my being. It is inexplicable.
It defies logic. It surpasses all common sense. My mind has been left in the dust by my racing heart.
This love will be the love that tears me down to a shell of my former self, but also has the power to build me up bigger, greater and grander than I once was. I have and will continue to love this man.
I don’t love him for his potential–because potential isn’t a given. He may never become what society deems as ‘fit’ for me–never. But, he is still worth it all. I don’t love him for what he may become– I love him for what he is right now.
Right now. Not what we use to be, not what we use to have, not what we could have and what we could be. I have forgiven our past, and have no control over our future.
Have I forgotten everything from the past? Hell no. It stings from time to time when I recall the horrific details. But that pain is soothed by the here and now. Everything that was an issue before–is no longer present.
We have to move forward. Since I am incapable of moving forward without him–it looks like we are going to have to put on our thinking caps and figure out how we will wade through this carnage.
This blog is called Love Rehab for a reason.. I am an addict and I have relapsed.
My ex is back. Yes, THE ex.
We are a beautiful train wreck. You can’t help but watch it unfold and pray that there are a few survivors.