First 48 Sex

“Loose lips sink ships” – Don’t know who said it… but it is some real shit. (Maybe I should google it….)

We’ve all seen the show… and we all know the story. You commit a crime with a friend and you get away for the time being, yet somehow the cops bring you in for questioning.

“We have your friend in the other room, and he is singing like a canary… he is telling it all…BUT if you confess, we’ll cut you the better deal”

You get nervous, your heart starts beating uncontrollably, and your mind is doing back flips… you are really going over your options. What if that ninja in the other room IS telling them everything… so you spill the beans.

You implicate everyone. When in reality, your partner isn’t saying squat to those donut eating, public servant ass pigs.

You. Are. Caught.

Now both of ya’ll will be taking a trip to the big house, all because YOU SNITCHED.

Okay, I’ve set the scene. Now introducing..*drum roll* First 48.

I love this man to death. We are friends, good ones at that. But honestly, that fucker couldn’t hold water.

Here is the formula for disaster

Attractive friends + alcohol + anger – common sense x being cheated on =

First 48 sex w/ your guys best friend

Go ahead, JUDGE ME. Judge away.

“How could you do that, Love Addict?”

“His best friend?”

“You’re a whore!!”

Alcohol and anger make a horrible combination. So, SUE ME.

In our defense.. it wasn’t as epic as it could have been. I think we both were thinking about “him”… or we had performance anxiety. Who the fuck knows.

We woke up the next morning and vowed to take this to the grave. I would be 6 feet under before I tell this man that I slept with his friend. He could have pictures and I’d still say..

“it wasn’t me babe… you are crazy. Pass the salt”

First 48 and I actually kept this secret hidden for 2 ½ months.

No harm. No foul. Our little secret.

HA! Sike your minds bitches… Everything done in the dark will come to light. Everything dirty will come out in the wash. Throw every other cliché, old mammy, tried and true bumper sticker you can come up with at me. It is all for certain.

But the question will always remain… who actually snitched?? Who ACTUALLY sang like a songbird?

I didn’t know men have intuition. I was shocked. The conversation came out of no where… We had actually already broken up! Yet, I am on the phone being interrogated, denying what ever CRAZY notions he had concocted in his mind, while I text First 48, asking him WHAT IN THE GOOD LORDS NAME is going on. Why does this man even have an inclination to ask me about whether or not we slept together?! Like… is this for serious?!?!

First 48—of course is telling me to deny, deny, deny. If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit. But then semi-sort of-boyfriend hangs up with me… and calls him. Gets a story, then calls me back. Hangs up with me, calls him… gets more sinking feelings about something not being right… calls me back. It is an endless cycle. First 48 is starting to wear thin.

Text from Me to First 48: “Hold strong, my ninja. PLEASE DON’T FALL VICTIM!!”

But he breaks… he starts the story with—“….it was just a kiss”…

What the fuck!?! NO NO NO… lets not go down that road. You have opened up Pandora’s box.

Me to Soon-to-be-forever-ex-boyfriend: Okay… we kissed. I am sorry that I kept that from you

First 48: … we kissed… then I ate her out. But that is it.

NO!! Say it isn’t so… Its over. There is no such thing as a guy tasting the soup without dipping his spoon in the pot.

I’m panicking, so I had to tell him, officially. Why you ask?! Because they will always be friends.. there is no salvaging this relationship for me. So at least lets go out with me being honest and upfront.

I cry—and I really mean these tears… and I tell him how sorry I am. Sorry for doing it, sorry for keeping it from him… and sorry that in an attempt to save “us” I have lost “us” forever.

He says he forgives me… and that life will go on.

We all know how this story ends, we all know the moral. It is lost forever. We may be able to be friends, but there is never a chance that we can rekindle. He will always remember that I screwed his best friend. While he is looking into my eyes—he will always see First 48 looking back at him. Not that I would want to rekindle anyways, I might not have outlined it in this post, but he CHEATED on me first. I know that old “an eye for an eye makes us all blind” cliche quote.. but I had to one up him.

It was a relationship that was going to be doomed anyways…. still another post for another day…

Question: Was it worth it?! Maybe… it definitely was a lesson learned.

Revenge is a dish best served without his best friend in the kitchen.